Fallen Stars
by mely
Summary: it's a kaoru and enishi romance, i think !
1. Nostalgia

Chapter 1   
Ummm.., i'm not really sure if this is really consistent with the prologue. I actually began with the idea that I'm going to make two stories but i'm too lazy to do two stories so i just decided to just combine it (i also posted this in KFFDISC last november). 

Standard Disclaimer Applies 

**Chapter 1**

Fallen Stars 

It had been a month since that incident happened but the memory still burns. Every time I remember it, the despair and emptiness still remains. Everything I have fought for was all for nothing. I have been living in an illusion for 10 years. When you start facing reality once again, all your actions in the past haunt you. Faces of people I have killed come lurking in every place I go. Somehow, when you realize that you've been wrong for all these years, your world crashes. 

How I long for death but it wouldn't come. And even if I tried to kill myself, it would be wrong. From this point on, I would be living a life full of guilt and regrets. A life not worth living but I would accept it as my punishment. Hoping that someday, I might make amends to all the people I have killed. 

I still grieve for the death of my sister and this grief had destroyed me. Her smile that had helped me for years had faded. Faded due to my cruelty and hatred. I didn't know how it happened but I had hurt the one person that she had loved. I hated him for taking her away from me. How I blamed him for her death but looking back, I realized that the one person that I really blamed was myself. I thought I hated him but I really hated myself for not protecting her. 

When she died, darkness invaded my soul. I hated the happiness that I see in people. I wanted to destroy their happiness. I wanted them to feel what I felt until I met her… 

He loved her… even I could see that. He was happy and I hated him for that. He had no right to happiness the moment he killed my sister. I wanted him to suffer and die in despair. So I took away the most precious person to him and I gloated as he suffered in agony. 

I was amazed at her spirit. I thought she would break down and beg for her life but instead she faced me with fierce determination in her eyes. She had beautiful eyes, I realized and I was impressed by her courage. Though she knew that it was hopeless, she stood up to me and I was pleased with her. When she mentioned his name, how I resented Battousai more. He had no right to have her spirit and her whole loyalty to him. 

In the prison I have created for her, she showed amazing courage and compassion. At that time, I hoped that I was not what I was. I tried to push that thought away as I savored my revenge. But when she looked at me I wanted to beg for her forgiveness. I told myself that I would survive with just my sister's smile for me. That too was taken away from me. I was horrified to realize that the smile that I have treasured for years was replaced by condemnation. I blamed her so I tried to kill her yet I couldn't do it. I threw up that day. 

When I learned that he had decided to live once again, I realized why my sister was sad. I was going to finish him off… that was my resolution. But I lost, my body and soul battered. The person I blamed for the death of my sister was the person she had loved. All that I had been living for through all these years was all for nothing and with this realization, I felt empty. 

I had no one and I had to face this but first, I had to rest. I am so very tired but sleep wouldn't come and if it did, nightmares haunt me. I had always prided myself that I was strong but every time I close my eyes, I feel terror seize me and I tremble in fear. These faces, when will it all stop? 

Gripped in a nightmare, I was shaken by a soft voice calling me. That voice somehow woke me. Opening my eyes, I realized that there was someone shaking me. And as I opened my eyes I saw her but when I looked at her, she blushed, avoiding my gaze. 

Notes:   
hmmm, enishi seems to be thinking like keshin...oops sorry for that. well, their experiences were sort of similar anyway. hey, i'm not much of a writer, ok? oh, and sorry for my grammar.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Nostalgia (longer version)

Chapter 1

>   
hello! i decided to remove the prologue, eheheh! i thought of making this entirely on Enishi's point of view. The first part was on kaoru's point of view so i decided to remove it. I'm actually toying with the idea of having that as a separate story. This is similar to the first part but this one's longer. The other one was a bit rushed (thanks for the comment ^_^) so i decided to add more. 
> 
> Standard Disclaimer Applies 
> 
> **Chapter 1**
> 
> Fallen Stars 
> 
> It had been a month since that incident happened but the memory still burns. Every time I remember it, the despair and emptiness still remains. Everything I have fought for was all for nothing. I have been living in an illusion for 10 years. When you start facing reality once again, all your actions in the past haunt you. Faces of people I have killed come lurking in every place I go. Somehow, when you realize that you've been wrong for all these years, your world crashes. 
> 
> How I long for death but it wouldn't come. And even if I tried to kill myself, it would be wrong. From this point on, I would be living a life full of guilt and regrets. A life not worth living but I would accept it as my punishment. Hoping that someday, I might make amends to all the people I have killed. 
> 
> I still grieve for the death of my sister and this grief had destroyed me. Her smile that had helped me for years had faded. Faded due to my cruelty and hatred. I didn't know how it happened but I had hurt the one person that she had loved. I hated him for taking her away from me. How I blamed him for her death but looking back, I realized that the one person that I really blamed was myself. I thought I hated him but I really hated myself for not protecting her. 
> 
> When she died, darkness invaded my soul. I hated the happiness that I see in people. I wanted to destroy their happiness. I wanted them to feel what I felt until I met her… 
> 
> He loved her… even I could see that. He was happy and I hated him for that. He had no right to happiness the moment he killed my sister. I wanted him to suffer and die in despair. So I took away the most precious person to him and I gloated as he suffered in agony. 
> 
> I was amazed at her spirit. I thought she would break down and beg for her life but instead she faced me with fierce determination in her eyes. She had beautiful eyes, I realized and I was impressed by her courage. Though she knew that it was hopeless, she stood up to me and I was pleased with her. When she mentioned his name, how I resented Battousai more. He had no right to have her spirit and her whole loyalty to him. 
> 
> In the prison I have created for her, she showed amazing courage and compassion. At that time, I hoped that I was not what I was. I tried to push that thought away as I savored my revenge. But when she looked at me I wanted to beg for her forgiveness. I told myself that I would survive with just my sister's smile for me. That too was taken away from me. I was horrified to realize that the smile that I have treasured for years was replaced by condemnation. I blamed her so I tried to kill her yet I couldn't do it. I threw up that day. 
> 
> When I learned that he had decided to live once again, I realized why my sister was sad. I was going to finish him off… that was my resolution. But I lost, my body and soul battered. The person I blamed for the death of my sister was the person she had loved. All that I had been living for through all these years was all for nothing and with this realization, I felt empty. 
> 
> I had no one and I had to face this but first, I had to rest. I am so very tired but sleep wouldn't come and if it did, nightmares haunt me. I had always prided myself that I was strong but every time I close my eyes, I feel terror seize me and I tremble in fear. These faces, when will it all stop? 
> 
> Gripped in a nightmare, I was shaken by a soft voice calling me. That voice somehow woke me. Opening my eyes, I realized that there was someone shaking me. The first thing that I saw was her worried eyes. It was her. 
> 
> "What do you want? " I demanded harshly "Did you come here to punish me? Fine, you won! Isn't that enough!?! 
> 
> "I'm sorry," she murmured,"You were shaking so hard, I thought it would be best to wake you. Here, I brought you some food." 
> 
> "Why?" I asked her. 
> 
> I saw her turn away avoiding my gaze. I sensed her hesitation. Fighting a battle within herself, she finally sighed and looking up, I was once again shaken by the compassion she exuded. 
> 
> " I don't really know why. However, i know how it feels to lose someone you love. I know how helpless that makes you feel and I know how it feels to want to destroy the people that brought you so much unhappiness. Revenge, doesn't make you evil. It makes you more human. I realized that all you need is to see the truth and when you begin to live once more, you'll realize that the world is not as evil as you seem to think." she explained firmly. 
> 
> I wanted to rage at her and tell her how stupid she is. There is no goodness in me. I am the devil incarnate. I killed with no compassion and mercy. Now, I am hunted with the hell I have created. I belong to this world, this hell. 
> 
> I turned away from those searching eyes. I know that if she probed any further, she would see darkness and I didn't want her to be consumed by it. No wonder Battousai was able to survive. He had her light. With all the evil that she had seen, she still retained her childlike innocence. Not ignorance but innocence in its purest form. I realized that I tried to take that away from her and now I'm glad that she still has it. 
> 
> "There is no goodness in me," I said brokenly "There has never been any goodness in me. Can't you see that? Don't be so goddamned STUPID. Just leave me alone!" 
> 
> The words didn't come out as I expected. I abhorred at how desperate I sounded. She looked at me and probably thought back on all that I have done. I waited for her to leave, dreading it, but she didn't. Instead, she took a step nearer. Raising her hands, I thought she would slap me, but she rested her hands on my forehead and her expression changed to anger. 
> 
> "Baka! What did you do to yourself? I'm taking you to Megumi and no buts, young man!" she admonished. 
> 
> Unable to withstand her kindness, I looked away and whispered, "Please don't. I couldn't face anyone right now. Just let me rest. Leave, I'll be fine." 
> 
> "Baka, I can't leave you!" she insisted. 
> 
> I froze as she reached for my arm, her fingers warm and consoling and I wanted to grasp it in my hands. Oh, how I wanted to hold it and feel her warmth encompass my cold body. It had been so long since anyone ever thought of touching me, not in hatred but in concern. She's concerned for me, I thought wonderingly. I have always been on my own and have consoled myself with my sister's smile. But, Kaoru, she's different. She's alive and warm, just within my reach. I only have to twist my body and I could embrace her, feel her warmth, bask in her kindness. But i controlled myself and laughed at my foolish thoughts. How can anyone care for someone as evil as me, and a psycho to boot, obsessed with a mirage for so long. "Wake up, Enishi. You are cursed, cursed by your own hands!" Unable to withstand the confusion and helplessness that I feel, I shouted at her. 
> 
> "LEAVE ME ALONE!!!" and with these words I vented out all the fury that I felt for myself and for her. For making me want for something that I knew I could never have. And I despise myself for even having these thoughts. I looked at her in anger and in pain and I saw her take a step backward at my voice. Even I was horrified at how I shouted at her. She looked at me then shook her head and started walking away. 
> 
> "NO!" I wanted to shout but knowing better, I buried this impluse. I couldn't let her shoulder the burden of caring for me. I watched hopelessly as she walked away. How I wished that I had been the one who found her.   
  

> 
> Notes:   
well, is this any better??? i decided to just type what i wrote a year ago. R & R very much appreciated ^_^!   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	3. Trust

Fallen2

> Standard Disclaimer Applies 
> 
> **Chapter 2**
> 
> Fallen Stars 
> 
> "No more!" I wanted to shout, "Please, sister, help me," I cried but no one answered. "What kind of monster have I become?" And I realized that I became like him and I abhorred that thought. I have stooped to his level and I am consumed by the same monsters that has consumed him. As much as I want to say that I fought for my sister's sake, it could never erase the fact that I have killed so many innocent people in my quest for an unmerited revenge. 
> 
> I smiled bitterly at that thought. I have even forgotten how it feels to be human anymore, how it feels to be innocent and young, all of which I squandered because of a selfish boy's desperate need to be loved and his twisted notion of love. Love, I scoffed at that thought. For I vaguely remember that emotion anymore. For it was only my sister that answered that little boy's longing to be loved. She was the only one that loved me and I didn't want to share that with anyone. I realize that I had always been different, consumed by my emotions. And I could never deal with rejection. 
> 
> It's funny really, that it is only now that I realize that. Now that it is too late to change anything. Too late to bring back the helpless people that the cruel boy had killed, too late to ask for forgiveness for the family that shared with him compassion. Too late not to be haunted by these people. Lost in my thoughts, I was startled when I heard footsteps approaching. 
> 
> "It's her!" I thought with relief. I won't let her leave this time. I know I would pay for my selfishness someday but I want so much to bask into her light. To feel innocent again, I craved her attention, her kindness, her humanity. Just this once, I want to feel human. 
> 
> She looked at me uncertainly and took a step nearer. Her hand hovered over my head then finally rested on my forehead. I smiled at this simple gesture and I cringed inwardly at how warm her hands were. And I'm glad that she's worried for me. Although my mind was telling me that she's not mine to keep, I savored her light. For today, I can pretend that she can be mine. 
> 
> "Here, I brought some of Megumi-san's medicine and some food," she said kneeling beside me. 
> 
> Unsure on what to do, I took what she offered. At that, she smiled at me and I was blinded by it. "Battousai, how lucky he is. To be able to see that smile. For him to treasure forever." Tearing my eyes off her, I looked at the medicines and food she brought. 
> 
> "Hey, go on, you better eat and drink your medicines. You know I won't leave unless you do." she said reproachfully. 
> 
> "Ah," I murmured, thankful that she would stay even for just a while. I ate in silence not wanting to disturb her. I realized that she cooked for me and no matter how terrible the food was, I treasured every bite for she made it for me. Not him, but me, only for me. 
> 
> "So, how was it?" she asked excitedly. 
> 
> Unwilling to let her see, how much I treasured the food she cooked, I replied scathingly, "The food was terrible." 
> 
> I expected her to shout at me but I was shocked to see her lips beginning to quiver. "Oh my God," I thought "She's going to cry. What have I done?" I rose uncertainly and began to apologize "I'm sorry" I said, taking a step closer to her. 
> 
> "Stop it, damn it! Don't say you're sorry when it's true. I'm sick and tired of all this. I can't cook, I can't control my temper. I can never replace your sister, right? I'll never be good enough!" she cried brokenly. 
> 
> At her words, I realize what it was all about. I saw how much she had been trying to prove to him that she could be loved as much as he had loved my sister. That is probably the reason why she wanted to help me. It wasn't jealousy I saw but sincerity and helplessness. 
> 
> Unlike me, she faced all her uncertainties and loneliness head-on and tried to become a better person. Yet I could see that she had been denying her true self. In her effort to prove that she could be loved, she had been fighting with her identity. And now, she is reaching her breaking point. How stupid of him not to acknowledge her courage and strength. And how very cruel of him to leave her so uncertain, trying to grope with all her emotions. For in his guilt, he failed to see her beauty and her life. 
> 
> "I didn't mean it like that." I said calming her. What has he done to her. She is strong but she can only take so much. I almost smiled at how shocked she was at my words. She didn't expect me to sympathize, I realized. It's funny really because I didn't really expect to sympathize with her. The emotions that I have been trying to hide in the past 10 years are beginning to resurface and that scared me. As much as I wanted to retain my facade of hatred, I couldn't. Not when, she's hurting so much. 
> 
> "I'm sorry," she said brokenly, trying to control her emotions " I didn't mean to shout at you."   
  
At that, I forgot how much I used to despise her for replacing my sister. And all the defenses that I have built for myself crumbled. Unable to stop myself I whispered "You are so beautiful." I was taken aback at what I said and I was embarrased to face her. Yet I was unable to withstand the silence so I glanced at her and I was horrified to see that she was silently crying. My words seem to have opened a dam to her tears. 
> 
> Unsure on what to do, I gathered her in my arms. I tried to stifle the pleasure that I felt in having her in my arms even just this once but I couldn't. Her warmth engulfed me and I savored every minute of her closeness. I have never felt this warm and this human before. She even fits me perfectly. At the back of my mind, I knew I'll pay for this someday but no matter what, I still have this to treasure. Finally the tempest died down until it finally stopped and I reluctantly pulled her away to look into her eyes. 
> 
> "I'm sorry" she said, blushing " I don't know what to say."   
  
"Don't say anything." I said. I didn't want her to regret what she had done. "It's all right, ok." 
> 
> "Ok, but you're still taking your medicines and I would like to bandage your wounds," she said jokingly. I can see that she's still uncertain on my change of attitude and I'm glad that she didn't probe for I wouldn't know what to tell her. 
> 
> "Yes, ma'am." I replied and I smiled at how beautiful the world was once more. 
> 
> From that day forward, it had become a routine for her to visit me. Everyday, I await her arrival, pleasure cpursing through my body. However, this pleasure comes with pain for I know that this would soon stop as I slowly started to gain back my strength. She'll never come back soon and I dreaded this thought. For I know that I have fallen foolishly in love with her. She had become my **life**. 
> 
> Notes: 
> 
> And that was the last part of what I wrote last year. That means I have to start anew. he!he!he! I honestly have no idea how to continue this. I am open to any suggestions. e-mail me at meno12@lycos.com if you have any, ok? R&R very much appreciated (^_^!).   
  



	4. Laughter

Standard Disclaimer Applies 

WARNING: Lots of OOCness. Enishi is really out of character. Gomen! I'll revise it when I have the time. Aaargh! I just can't seem to retain his cold and psycho attitude. ^_^! So Sorryyyy!!!! I'll change this (after a year he!he!he!) depending on your response but right now, this is what I've got. ^_^ btw, i also have problem about continuity so read at your own risk! ^_^ Oh, and watched out for grammatical errors, this a a very Rough Draft, ok? 

**Chapter 3******

Ten days have passed and I smiled as I heard her approaching. I watched her hovering around me, watching the way she prepared the food and the way she tended to my wounds. I knew how bad the food was but I craved for it. For it represents her heart, the one thing I admired the most. It was her essence. She must have noticed my stare for she looked uncomfortably at me, confused and a little embarrased. 

"Is there something on my face?" she asked and leaned nearer as if trying to see her reflection in my eyes. My heart lurched at her nearness and I was overwhelmed by her scent. I raised my hands, wanting to touch her, to feel her and slowly raised it towards her cheeks but I pulled back on time as I saw her looking strangely at me. 

"Stupid," I thought " She almost noticed and I knew the repercussions of that. I could lose her if I give in to my emotions."How really stupid of me!" 

"Hey, what's wrong with you?" she demanded "Is there something on my face. Remove it, please!?!" 

I almost laughed at her words. Yes, there was something on her face. There was HER, my life and my warmth. 

She raised her hands towards her face, looking for the nonexistent dirt, dirtying her face in the process. I touched her hands gently as I removed the smudge on her face. Gliding my fingers softly over her face, loving the smoothness and the softness of it. I must have lingered longer for she froze at my actions and her face reddened. I reluctantly removed my hands, fisting it, trying to retain her softness. 

"There, it's all done!" I mumbled. 

"Enishi-san, you know you still have to eat the food, right? You won't work your way out of it!" she teasingly remarked. 

"I can't?" I replied, as I joined in her teasing, a little bit shocked at myself. 

"Hey, where did Enishi-san go? What'd you do to him?" she teased, then began to laugh uproariously at her own remark. Her laughter was so contagious that I almost joined in her mirth. My lips twitched and I had to control myself from laughing along with her but unable to contain it, I smiled at her absurdity. She stopped, shocked at my reaction. 

"You don't smile very well, you know," she joked. "You should do it more often. Maybe you'll get the hang of it. Hey, now that I think about it, you want me to teach you?" she asked outrageously. 

Observing my silence, she smiled and said, " You're a tough pupil, huh? Well, so let me do it, ok. Widen your lips." She leaned towards me and reached for mouth, stretched it. "Hmm, that won't do. You look like a clown. Ha!ha!ha! You do look like a clown!" and seeing my face, she started laughing again until she couldn't breath and I loved watching her. Her head thrown back and her face flushed. 

Oh, to be carefree again, how I craved for it and it was heaven sharing her laughter. And I knew how it would feel like to have her in my life. There would be laughter, warmth and most of all, love. For she has lots of love to give. So much that she even shares a little bit of it with me. 

I froze as I heard footsteps approaching us, knowing immediately that they were the residents of Rakuninmura. She must have heard it too for she stopped laughing and got up and started to once again prepare the food, her face still flushed from lauging. 

"Here," she said, smiling at me, " Try not to look so tortured this time!" 

I smiled at that and murmured,"I probably can cook better than you." 

"Hey, I heard that!Hmmm, then maybe you should teach me!" she replied, "Hey, maybe you could teach me some Chinese foods. I like this, I'll bring the utensils tomorrow and I'll shop for the ingredients. What do we need?" 

I almost choked on the food at her proposal. For I have never cooked in my entire life. Looking at her hopeful eyes, I realized that I wanted to share something with her. I don't care if my soul is damned forever but I wanted some heaven in this lifetime. And for once I let go of the bitterness, guilt and hate inside myself and I turned back to the person I wanted to be, a person just like her. 

"Umm, maybe we could start with some fried vegetables. We need some potatoes, carrots, cauliflower..." I said explaining what those vegetables are. And for once in my life, I felt free, free to accept friendship, her friendship. She was taken aback by my attitude and smiled, accepting my change. 

The other day, I found her carrying the needed vegetables and utensils as I prepared the fire. Taking charge of the situation, I tooked the pan and placed it over the fire. 

"First, remember to place just a small amount of oil. Then place the meat and watch it as it turns golden." Not really knowing what the next procedure was, I decided to just pour all the vegetables, add water and some seasoning and just wait for it to be cooked. I almost laughed at her intense concentration, seeming to memorize what I'm telling her. 

I glanced at the food which was really looking overcooked and I seem to have added too much water for the vegetables were floating. I blew on the fire trying to evaporate the water. But since the vegetables were really looking unappetizing, I decided to remove it from the fire. 

"Is it all done?" she asked excitedly. 

"Umm, yes." I mumbled, not really wanting to eat what I cooked with it looking like soup, a soggy soup, that is. She poured it to the two bowls she brought with her while I swallowed my laughter at her confused expression at the state of my cooking. She took her chopsticks and reluctantly dug on her food. I did the same and I almost gagged at the awful taste. I looked at her and saw the same expression and unable to contain my laughter, I finally gave in and laughed. 

"Ooops, I really don't know how to cook. Eheheh! Come to think of it, you do cook better than me!" I said as I stopped laughing, glancing at her and I warily moved back as I saw her thunderous expression. 

"E-NI-SHI! WHY YOU!!!!" 

"Eheheh! Umm, sorry?" I said, raising my hands placatingly as I cautiosly started backing away as I saw her reach for her bokken. Watching her expression, I found it safest to just run as she started stalking me and started running too, chasing after me. We were both laughing as we ran. And I savored every moment of it. I knew the residents were shocked but I didn't care. I finally let her caught up with me and I sported bruises the whole week. 

Curious at the way she handled her bokken, I saw her potential and I offered to help her. Reluctant at first, she finally accepted and I decided to train her as a form of apology. I was very excited to learn how far she could go. It was very enjoyable teaching her. Her enthusiasm for learning was very catching. She makes you want to teach her more. 

"Hey, Enishi-san, was I fast enough?" she asked eagerly. 

"That was faster but you need more speed to execute that move. Try twisting your right foot to the left. No!no!no! not that much. Yes! That's perfect. Now, use that as a pivot point as you execute the move." 

I smiled as as she executed the move perfectly. For two weeks, I taught her and I became very accustomed with her laughter, her enthusiasm and her care. Never minding the thought that she had another family and another man she loves outside my world. Until, he appeared one day with her. 

I saw both of them approaching me and I saw him watching her protectively, his hand hovering over his sakabatou while his other hand held her left hand, clasping it protectively, claiming her as his. I smiled bitterly at the picture they presented. 

Author's notes: Thank you for all your suggestions. Sorry if this is too repetitious! eheheh! i seem to have lost my imagination. 

Commercial Break --------- ^_^ 

Enishi: Oi, your story is too weird. Me, laugh? You're nuts!   
Mely: Shut up! You should be happy I paired you with Kaoru. Hmmm, you really want me to retain your psycho attitude?   
Enishi: Baka! Of course, that person you were describing is not me, get it? What the hell is your problem woman??? And your story sucks, you're always repeating yourself baka-onna! No progress at all!   
Mely: Really? (_eyes glinting_)   
Enishi: Yes, really. Geez, how dumb can you be?   
Mely: Okay. Fine! No more Kaoru and Enishi! K & K's my fave pair anyway (_sticks out her tongue at Enishi_)!   
Enishi: Whaaat! Hey, I didn't really mean it.   
Mely: I don't believe you. humph!!!   
Enishi: Ummm (_swallowing hard and hating what he was about to do)_, I'm sorry?   
Mely: What? I didn't hear you? (_smiling maliciously at Enishi's predicament)_   
Enishi: I said I'm sorry!   
Mely: Say that again??? (ehehe!)   
Enishi: I SAID I"M SORRY YAROU!!!   
Mely: Geez, you couldn't even apologize properly. This is no fun!   
Enishi: So will you finish this?   
Mely: Hmmm, I'll think about it. You know what? I got your perfect pair! Yup!yup! I got it!   
Enishi: Really? Who?   
Mely: You want your old attitude back right???   
Enishi: Of course (_geez, this woman is dense!)_   
Mely: Cold and psychotic, right?   
Enishi: Yes, you're getting it woman!   
Mely: He!he!he! I know the perfect person for you! Got your same attitude!   
Enishi: WHO???   
Mely: AOSHI-SAN! He!he!he! (_ducks for cover and hearing no reaction from Enishi, peers at him. She gagged at the starry-eyed villain in front of her.)_   
Enishi: (_dreamy_) Really. You would? Wow, That Man is HOT, I mean H-O-T! HOT!HOT!HOT! I've been waiting for someone to write that kind of a fic! Mely, you're a genius!   
Mely: (_gags)_ Eeeek! You hentai! Get away from me!   
Enishi: (_on his knees)_ Onegai, Mely-sama????   
Mely: (_runs)_ Baka! I don't write yaoi, and if I did, it wouldn't be the two you! (_aaargh! imagine the two of them together! they'd just kill each other. They'll probably just stare at each other to death. he!he!he! I'm crazy!)___

tbc ^_^ i like writing this better 


	5. Friendship

Standard Disclaimer Applies

WARNING: After 7 years, I have once again re-read my fic and decided to continue. I'm a little rusty in writing stories but I do hope you'll still like this. This time I'm writing this in Kaoru's POV as oro101 suggested years ago.

**Chapter 4**

I don't know why but I cannot find it in myself to hate him. **ENISHI, **he could have taken my life and left Kenshin to rot in Rakuninmura but still, I knew there is still hope for him.

Maybe I m being a baka once again as Yahiko seem to always remind me but saving a life is what my father had always taught me. It does not always mean saving it physically but also emotionally. I could not let him be consumed by his memories. I knew what it did to Kenshin and I know it will destroy what little sanity he had.

"He is Insane!" Megumi told me again and again. However, I knew that given a chance of humanity, he may be able to live the life he should have been living if his sister survived. I need to give him the chance of living. Everybody owes him that much.

**Kenshin** had been silent the whole time. Everybody was against what I intended to do but he kept quiet. It frustrates me again and again how I can't seem to read his mind. I felt so unsure of what he feels. Sometimes, I feel that he cares but there are times that I'm fighting with his memories once again.

After all, who am I to compare with what he had with Tomoe. It's funny really that here I am trying to fix what Tomoe had left. A broken husband and brother. Silly me, insisting on saving both of them.

I proceeded to Rakuninmura to give him the medicines and food that I cooked. As I approached, I looked at him uncertainly then I felt his intake of break and I smiled inwardly. It had always been hard to read Kenshin's mind but with Enishi, it had been so easy.

I knew he longed for a human touch and as much as he insisted that he didn't want me. I knew that as a lie. It was so easy to read his face. Just like before. Even when he captured me and locked me in his island. I knew when he was angry and I knew when he was pretending to be angry.

"He is so unlike Kenshin and yet so similar" I thought silently.

"A, Kenshin" I thought. What am I to do with him? Sometimes I felt suffocated by his politeness. Somehow when he talks to me it always feels like I am stranger trying so hard to be loved by him. It's pathetic really but I have fallen so badly that it hurts. I knew that I am so different with Tomoe but I have been trying so hard to fill his emptiness. So very hard…

I looked at him and chastised him.

Hey, go on, you better eat and drink your medicines. You know I won't leave unless you do." I said reproachfully.

"So, how was it?" I asked excitedly.

"The food was terrible." He replied scathingly

These words, I knew it was true and it somehow brought back the bitterness I felt. Yes I know, I am not like **HER.**

"I'm sorry" he said.

"No don't be like Kenshin" I thought.

"Stop it, damn it! Don't say you're sorry when it's true. I'm sick and tired of all this. I can't cook, I can't control my temper. I can never replace your sister, right? I'll never be good enough!" I cried brokenly.

"I didn't mean it like that." He said calming me. Somehow, I believed him. Yes, he was so different from him.

"I'm sorry," I said brokenly, trying to control my emotions "I didn't mean to shout at you."

"You are so beautiful." He whispered.

I was shocked at what he said and at the sincerity I saw in his eyes. He looked at me uncertainly and somehow battling with himself, he gathered me in his arms. I smiled with pleasure at his gesture. I let the bitterness flow out of me with his arms steadying me.

"I'm sorry" I said, blushing "I don't know what to say."

"Don't say anything." he said. "It's all right, ok."

From that day forward, I knew that I can save him. Save him from his nightmares and save his humanity. Our friendship grew and everyday I look forward to visiting him.

It has been two weeks already since my first visit. As I prepared his food, I saw Kenshin.

"Kaoru-san, can I go with you?" He said

Surprised, I turned to look at him but his eyes were covered by his hair. Yahiko and Sanosuke had always been violently against this visit but Kenshin kept quiet. He had not agreed nor disagreed with what I was doing.

"Sure" I said uncertainly.

As we walked towards Rakuninmura, I felt his hands reached out and hold mine. Shocked, I glance at him and again I didn't see eyes.

"What does this mean?" I thought.

I smiled as I saw Enishi. He had improved so much.

tbc ^_^ next time it will be Kenshin's POV, what do you guys think? R&R very much appreciated even after all these years. hehe


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